My husband is a deep sleeper. He would sleep through his alarm every day if I didn’t wake him up for work. His mother can relate to me on this point.
The morning routine is that I get up around 5:30 a.m., then at about 6 I wake him to say that he has ten minutes left, then I make him get out of bed before I leave. The fun part is that frequently he talks in his sleep when I first wake him. It’s so entertaining that I started keeping a record of what he says. Here is a sampling from the past couple of months.
***
What are you going to do with that chili sauce?
***
My mom’s the one that’s been waking me up and she’ll get me up in a few minutes.
***
Him: Open it.
Me: Open what?
Him: Pointing at Meredith. There’s a present in her mouth.
***
Him: Embryos…I have a few more minutes.
Me: Did you say embryos?
Him: Mmmhmmm
Me: What kind of embryos?
Him: Fertility reproduction…I have a few more minutes!!
***
Me: Wake up, love.
Him: I found it.
Me: What did you find?
Him: The police scanner.
Me: What about it?
Him: It was getting signals from the police station.
Me: What kind of signals?
Him: unintelligible mumbling
***
Me: David.
Him: Did you read my magazine?
Me: What magazine?
Him: The one I’m on the cover of.
Me: What are you on the cover for?
Him: Sweet potatoes.
***
This in the midst of a previously coherent conversation after I thought he was awake.
Him: I know that you were praying for him to stay alive…
Me: Huh??
D: But the Pope only has 40 days to live.
Yes, he fell asleep in the MIDDLE of a conversation. Boy is talented.
From Jen:
This is hilarious!
The other day, my husband was waking up and said, “There is a horserace in my mouth.” I died laughing.
Jen recently posted..I Just Have One Question
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kapachino Reply:
August 22nd, 2012 at 1:29 pm
If you can get him into a conversation that’s when it really gets good!
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From Stacie:
Ohmigosh this is hilarious! Sleep talking and dogs in shoes are the two things that hit my funny sweet spot and right now I’m nearly in tears!
Stacie recently posted.."…and so I just got him new underwear."
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kapachino Reply:
August 22nd, 2012 at 1:29 pm
The hardest part is to keep myself from laughing when he says it because then he’ll wake up and ruin the party. :)
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From Melanie:
Cracking. Up.
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From lauren w:
oh my gosh i laughed so hard at this.
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From Holly:
This is so funny and I do this to Garrett almost nightly (fall asleep mid-conversation and say stupid things) as well as completely speak non-sensically. He can really egg me on too and I say even more ridiculous stuff. It’s hilarious (to him, ha!) glad I’m not the only one. :)
Holly recently posted..Whole 30 – Day 16-21
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kapachino Reply:
August 22nd, 2012 at 1:28 pm
I definitely try to get David to talk more and more, and that’s when the really good stuff starts coming! It’s SO much fun. :)
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From LfT:
OMG so funny!!!
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From Meg:
I do this. I blame my mother and high school. I have been known to sit up and have my eyes open and verify that yes, I am awake. I’ve identified swirling in the hallway for my husband and have requested that my mother move that satellite because it is going to hit the moon.
My sister swears I know how to speak Russian, too. Lol!
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kapachino Reply:
August 22nd, 2012 at 1:28 pm
I love that image: “Mom, kindly remove that satellite for me. We don’t want it to hit the moon. Thanks.”
Sleep talking is the best!
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From Sara:
I could not stop cracking up especially as I was reading this out loud to my fiance. My favorite was the sweet potato one. I hope you will share more in the future. =)
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